The short answer: Being introverted does not mean being shy: it means you recharge on your own. Extroverts draw energy from interaction, ambiverts combine both worlds. No type communicates better than the others: the style changes, not the effectiveness. The key is creating value through your own natural way of connecting.
As a child, I was very quiet and I didn't talk to anyone. Most likely because I was raised by my grandparents, who often took me to dinner with their friends, all adults, who talked about life and work. I didn't have much to say about these topics when I was 7 or 8 years old, so what happened?
The truth is that I wanted to join the conversation, but I was embarrassed, so I listened, reflected, asked myself questions and answered them by myself.
Growing up, I noticed that many children were shy and quiet, and I saw myself in them. I thought that, just like me sitting at the adults' table, they had a lot of things to say. So I started asking them questions and listening to them, and in some way I proclaimed myself the champion of shy people.
Over the years I became more and more extroverted while remaining introverted. So I had abandoned definitions.
I felt like Balto. You probably don't know this reference, but when I was a kid Balto was very famous on Italian TV: he is the hero of the 1995 animated film of the same name. In the story, Balto is neither fully a dog nor fully a wolf. Because of this, he often struggles to find where he belongs and how others see him.
Many children, myself included, were fascinated by his story because it was really a story about identity, belonging, and embracing who you are. Even today, I sometimes feel the same way.
Then I discovered that besides the introvert and the extrovert there are also ambiverts!
I am not a big fan of labels, but sometimes they are useful, and so today I want to leave you with some definitions of what it means to be an introvert, an extrovert and an ambivert, to help you find your bearings. No type is better than another: each brings value through different characteristics and strengths.
What does being an introvert really mean?
The most common mistake is thinking that being introverted means being shy. It means that you are comfortable on your own and need plenty of space for yourself, to recharge and take care of yourself.
Introverts are often considered those who prefer solitude or small groups. Their strength lies in:
- Deep reflections: introverts tend to think before speaking, which allows them to formulate their thoughts clearly and precisely.
- Empathy: their ability to listen to and understand others can lead to deep and meaningful relationships.
- The ability to observe, to abstract and to see the bigger picture.
- Independence: introverts often excel in their individual activities and projects.
Introverted people love and do their best in small groups and in one-to-one relationships.
Who communicates better, introverts or extroverts?
One important disclaimer: I am often asked who is better at public speaking and communication, extroverts or introverts.
Introverts are by no means less effective communicators than extroverts. Many introverts are outstanding public speakers, brilliant marketers, successful sales professionals, and highly influential leaders.
The difference lies not in their ability to communicate, but in their style. For this reason, it is important not to assume that extroverts are better communicators. Both personality styles have unique strengths and can achieve exceptional results in both personal and professional settings.
Extroverts: energy from interaction
Extroverts, on the other hand, are those who draw energy from social interactions. Extroverted people are very receptive to external stimuli, have strong communication and social skills. They do not like staying on the sidelines, they feel comfortable among people, they relate with enthusiasm.
Their predispositions are:
- Spontaneity: extroverts are often open to new experiences and willing to take risks.
- Communicativeness (what a word!): they have excellent communication skills and easily establish contacts with others.
- Leadership skills: extroverts often become natural leaders, as they tend to inspire and motivate others.
If you are an introvert, you might have some trouble when surrounded by extroverts. I would like to share something with you on the matter, to avoid misunderstandings.
They do not want to overpower others, they are simply "social animals", they need encounters and words. They are simply outgoing and talkative, and it is not at all a sign of insensitivity. Sometimes they need to take centre stage simply to process information.
They think out loud, exactly the opposite of introverts.
Ambiverts: the best of both worlds?
In my opinion, yes. Ambiverts have the characteristics of both types: they can be energetic and sociable, but at the same time they also enjoy moments of solitude.
Some of their characteristics are:
- Flexibility: they can adapt to different situations and environments.
- Balance: their ability to combine the energy of the extrovert with the deep reflection of the introvert allows them to see things from different perspectives.
- The ability to build relationships: ambiverts can establish relationships with different people and are able to understand the needs of both types.
How to communicate authentically: 5 tips
Regardless of your personality type, it is important to learn to make use of your strengths and recognise the areas in which you can grow.
- Take time regularly to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses.
- Take part in different social activities, both as an introvert and as an extrovert, and learn from these experiences.
- Expand your network of contacts. Every personality type can benefit from new relationships.
- Find your own way of communicating and adapt it to your personality: it will become a distinctive trait of your communication.
- Define clear boundaries in professional and personal relationships.
Whether you are an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert, each of these personality types has unique predispositions and possibilities. Each of us has enormous potential within. The key is not for everyone to communicate in the same way, but to learn to create value through their own natural way of connecting with others.
Frequently asked questions
Does introverted mean shy?
No, and it is the most common mistake. Being introverted means you are comfortable on your own and need space to recharge and take care of yourself. Shyness is fear of judgement, introversion is a way of managing your energy. An introvert can speak brilliantly in public, after recharging in their own way.
What does it mean to be an ambivert?
An ambivert has the characteristics of both types: energetic and sociable, yet they also enjoy moments of solitude. Their advantages are flexibility, the balance between energy and reflection, and the ability to build relationships with different people, understanding the needs of both worlds.
Who is better at public speaking, introverts or extroverts?
Neither, by default. Many introverts are outstanding speakers, successful sales professionals and influential leaders: the difference lies not in the ability to communicate but in the style. Assuming extroverts communicate better is a prejudice that does not survive contact with reality.
How do I know if I am an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert?
Look at where your energy comes from. If you recharge alone or in small groups, you lean introvert; if social interaction energises you, you lean extrovert; if you recognise yourself in both depending on the moment, you are probably an ambivert. Labels are for finding your bearings, not for locking yourself in a box.
